Purpose for Blogging

I have never blogged before.  I have no idea what I am doing.  Just decided that it was time that I start telling my story.  It isn't for the readers purpose that I blog.  I think that in my life, so many things have  happened and I can't comprehend all of it.  I wish I could remember the different trials and great things that happen to me.  My life isn't all about the ending but it's the journey that makes it so great!  My emotions and decisions go up and down constantly, but why?  Why do I feel like crying, or being angry helps my situation any?  Are my emotions trying to tell me something that I didn't know before.  I watched the new season of the "Bachelor" last night, and there was this girl on it, she was ridiculous.  All she did was cry and cry and cry.  It was the first week and I thought this girl was going to make me tear off my ears.  It was crazy!  Isn't that how my life is now.  The journey hasn't even started and I already want to quit because I can't see what is ahead of me.  I don't like not being in control of my life and the decisions that I make.  I either walk forward and move across this wall that I have put up myself, or I go back to who I was and never get other this junk in my life.
I am starting a fast on Monday.  I am so excited to see what God is going to do and what He is going to say to me and do through me.  I am ready for God to move in my life.  I need it.  I need His love and grace.  I want to spend every waking moment with Him.  He deserves all of the praise and glory.  I am nervous though.  Last time I did a fast it did not go the way that I wanted it to go.  It was the hardest month of my life.  Today God asked me something and I am not sure if I am ready to answer it.  He said, "Becca, will you worship me even if it's not easy?  Will you still want to give me praise?"......I don't know. I want to say yes with all my heart.  But if I am honest I don't know.